the red uchiha eye moon

in the hidden sand at night village people gathered to see the red uchiha eye moon. The moon was a blood red color and had tear drops in every circle. It only came once a year. Kazekage (mayor of the sand) loved it so much he painted it and put it in his office. but this year was a disaster because a small tree was growing in front of it. It was brownish black and smelled like a maple tree  and  looked like it was dying. Meanwhile people were frowning and started leaving because it wasn’t beautiful anymore .To be continued

2 Comments

  1. charliec567mps

    I love cliff-hangers so I love it! + its a grate story

  2. Lachie, I love this story!

    You created a beautiful and eerie atmosphere and a totally believable world. The detail of how much the Mayor loved the Moor was powerful.

    My wish for you would be around the word “meanwhile”. I don’t think it fits well here. I would suggest using “upon witnessing this, people frowned and started leaving: the Moon wasn’t beautiful anymore”.

    Keep up the wonderful work!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *